JBPM: day 26

I had a gluten free raspberry muffin from the place in the city where I go for my almost daily gluten free muffin fix on week days. I'm so regular that I don't have to ask for what I want. Today's muffin was still warm from the oven. Scrrrr-umptious.  

I got my hair cut and coloured today. Just the usual, but I love that "just left the salon" feeling. I almost didn't get into the salon because the section of street it's on was blocked off by the police and fire brigade. The firemen were cleaning up an oil spill and no one was allowed to pass because it was slippery. I loitered around waiting for 45 minutes and then my hairdresser managed to sneak me in the back way. Phew. I really needed that hair cut. 

We had take-away kebabs for dinner. I put them inside my jacket and zipped it up to keep them warm on the drive home, which made me look pregnant...pregnant with a kebaby.  

Day 19: A note from Luke

Luke's "note" to tell me he would be at the oval 

kicking the football when I got home from the gym

Day 11: Octoportraits

Luke bought me this little octopus finger puppet at a fair on the

 Isle of Wight during our recent holiday. He isn't always sad. 

 Drunk octopus

Startled octopus

Astounded, self-assembly, Sydney

You'll never guess what happened to me today! I got a phone call from the bank near my work asking me if I took $50 out of the ATM on Monday. 

Me: Yes

Bank Lady: And did you leave the $50 in the machine?

Me: Yes

Bank Lady: A man has handed it in. I just had to go through the ATM records to find out who it belonged to.

Me: You. Are. Kidding, Me. 

Bank Lady: I shit you not* 

Can you believe that?! That man is the most honest person in the world. I wish he'd left his details so I could thank him. Bank Lady said it's happened before. Someone recently handed in $200 that had been left in the machine. Astounding. 

* Possibly not her exact words

Luke picked up our new bookcase this afternoon. He's almost finished assembling it as I type. I did some self-assembly of my own. I call it Foamiture™.

It was kinda like making house of cards. (Does anyone still do that? Here's a how-to if you want to try).

I forgot that I'm meeting Mum in Sydney for Christmas and New Year's Eve. I've never been there for New Year's Eve, so that will be exciting (for those who don't know, Sydney has the most spectacular fireworks show in the country on NYE). We went to Sydney for Christmas about six years ago, so we've done most of the touristy things.  I'm compiling a list of other stuff to do. So far I have climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the coastal walk from Bondi to Bronte, which passes Waverley Cemetery, which sydney.com describes as "one of the world’s more scenic operational cemeteries".  

Around the bay in a day

The weather didn't look promising on our 

way to Sorrento...

That's our ferry on its way back from Queenscliff. 

Still looking rather grey, but it wasn't cold

On the ferry...a cargo ship passing by and rain in the distance.

  I felt a bit seasick inside the ferry, despite the calm water, 

but was OK on the deck at the front

On the other side... An old sign in Queenscliff: Refreshment

The Point Lonsdale Pier

Tiny blue shells in the crevices of rocks on the beach at Point Lonsdale. 

They were smaller than the nail on my little finger.

Point Nepean on the Mornington Peninsula on other side 

of Port Phillip Bay, near where we boarded the ferry

 (click here to see map)  

Flowers and stone

At Point Lonsdale 

Unstable blogger 

The lighthouse at Point Lonsdale

Seabird

The beach at Point Lonsdale

C'mon on in guys. The water's fine 

Ducks and other birdlife on the road to Indented Head

An old thing in the sea at Indented Head

Eastern  Beach in Geelong, on our way back to Melbourne

Eastern Beach marina

Old signs in Geelong 

Exciting news, monkeys and donkeys

I'm practically* dancing a gleeful jig around my loungeroom as I type this (I'm a woman; multitasking is what we do). Why, you ask? I just this minute found out via Facebook that Mark Forsyth, the author of The Etymologicon, has a new book coming out on 1 November. I got goosebumps when I read that. Really! 

The book is called The Horologicon: A Day's Jaunt Through The Lost Words of the English Language. Forsyth describes it thusly on his blog, Inky Fool:

A horoscope is a look (scope) at the hour (horo) that you were born. It's related tohorology, which is the study of clocks, and to a horologicon, which is a book of hours, and, much more importantly, the title of my new book which comes out on November the first.

The Horologicon will not, I confess, address all, or even any, or the burning questions of horology. Instead, it is a book of strange and wonderful words that I've found cavorting at the back of the dictionary. However, unlike most books of strange and wonderful words, these are arranged in a useful manner. They are arranged by the hour of the day when you're most likely to need them.

So if, for example, you have ever woken up before dawn and lain abed worrying, The Horologicon tells you in chapter one (6am-7) that you are suffering from what the Old English called uhtceare, or anxiety experienced just before dawn.

Needless to say, I'm counting down the days.

* I left out one of the Cs in 'practically' when I first typed it, and Blogger's spellcheck suggested 'piratically' as the top alternative. That works too. Yarrrrrr! 

Monkeh magic

A couple of months ago Luke brought home an amigurumi toy version of the PG Tips monkey from work. I'd never heard of PG Tips tea or their spokesmonkey, but after seeing this ad on YouTube, I'm a fan (of the ads, not the tea).

The monkey and Johnny Vegas appear in other ads for PG Tips in which Johnny addresses his little sidekick in his English accent simply as "monkeh" . It makes me laugh when Luke  imitates him. 

Me: Say "monkeh"!
Luke: Monkeh
Me: Say "donkeh"! 
Luke: Donkeh
Me: Say "the monkeh is riding a donkeh"!

And so on. 

Speaking of donkeys (not a segue that will get much use), look at this video of an adorable baby donkey called Primrose. She was born prematurely with bowed front legs, so vets put her legs in bright pink plaster casts. So cute. 

Cork Man

Foys, matching, spoilt for choice

I saw this old sign quite a while ago, but had to wait for the trees to lose their leaves for a clearer shot. 

Foys was one of Australia's earliest department stores. The Melbourne store was on Bourke Street, I think where Target is now, but I'm not sure. I found a photo of the store from 1957, but can't pinpoint the location. The sign is just around the corner on Swanston Street, on the side of Curtin House. 

I went to the hairdresser again today to get my blue highlights touched up in a few places. The salon manager and I were wearing matching outfits (except I wasn't wearing a plastic apron). She and the other hairdresser make me laugh. My highlights are more of a royal blue than turquoise now. 

Luke and I dropped into The Book Grocer in the city this afternoon. I bought The Superior Person's Second Book of Words by Peter Rowler, which, according to the inside cover blurb, will unquestionably establish me as the most interesting person at any dinner party.  I hope it won't matter if I read the second book before the first.  I also bought a biography of Samuel Johnson (the "dictionary dude" as I described him).  

I'm nearly finished reading my current book....which one to read next...

There were globe artichokes in the fresh produce section at the supermarket today. I held one up and pretended to be an Olympic torch bearer and the Statue of Liberty. 

The sky aglow at sunset tonight, as seen from my window

'

Stalkers

I think I'm being stalked by the white faced heron and the great white egret. The heron takes the morning shift and the egret does the night shift. I saw the egret in that same spot under the bridge last night on the way home from the gym at close to 8.00pm, and then again tonight at about 5.45. Coincidence? I think not.  Every time I see them they are staring intently in the opposite direction, but I'm sure that's just so they don't look suspicious. 

Fruiterpillar

It was a plum and a nectarine shorter by the end of the day

The Knork, nearly Friday, award winning

I present to you The Knork. The knife and fork in one. Invented by a man desperate to impress women by neatly cutting pizza. I'm not making this up.

Nearly the end of the working week. Phew.

Wagons, one of my favourite bands, has won awards!

Knorks, parrots and gherkins again

Tuesday night is (The Whole) Kit and Caboodle night and gym night. I chortled out loud on the treadmill while listening to Susy and Jade discussing cutlery. Yes, cutlery. Specifically hybrid cutlery like splades and spork. Why not the knork, Susy pondered, as Jade giggled.  

I saw a pair of parrots foraging on the side of the road as I walked home after the gym.

What's better than gherkins one day and corned beef the next? Corned beef and gherkins together, of course! Tasty.

Baby, signs, rude word

I visited my friend Paul's newborn baby Eliza Grace today. She's lovely. So tiny (although average sized). I had a little cuddle and she didn't cry too much (she did fart though. I made sure to point out that it was bub, not me). I may or may not be a wee bit clucky...

I saw some old signs on shopfronts in North Melbourne as I went by on the tram to Paul's. I wanted to yell, "STOP THE TRAM!" but instead I got off on the way home and took photos.

Advertise in The Age and Herald down the centre

Wertheim something...

And this church: 

I went to Lincraft today for more supplies for my projects and I couldn't resist making a naughty word with the 3D cardboard letters. A four-letter word. Something tells me I'm not the first peurile shopper to do this since the U, C and K were already in place; I just had to move the F. I wonder how often the staff have to undo the shenanigans of people like me? I put all the letters back into their proper place after taking a photo of the rude word though.

 Doodle of the day

Big glee, big book, no fart

Another gleeful day of not working. Another gloriously sunny and mild late winter's day in Melbourne, with magnolia and jasmine bursting into bloom all over the place. Another personal best in the Global Corporate Challenge - 23,470 steps so far today. I'm a perambulating machine.

In major gleeful news, I saw a new dietician today who thinks I might not need to do the extremely difficult allergy elimination diet I've been attempting for the last 31 years (not really, but it feels like it). She's fairly confident my worst food intolerance symptoms will improve by following a diet that only cuts out foods containing problem sugars (e.g. fructose).  It's SO much easier than the other diet. I can eat in restaurants. I can buy my lunch. I can eat a wider variety of tastier fruit and vegetables. I'm so happy about it. That damned diet has become my nemesis.

I went to the Chapel Street Bazaar after my appointment and bought a little green specimen vase the same as one my mum used to have. She got it when she was a teenager and kept it until well after I'd left home, but it got broken, which she is still a little sad about. I'm going to send it to her. It's not the same as having the original, but it's better than not having it at all.

I nearly bought a 1950s unabridged edition of Webster's Dictionary at the bazaar...partly because it was ENORMOUS and, as you might recall, I have a thing about big books (and words). It was in remarkably good condition for its age and well priced, but I decided it was a substandard dictionary because it didn't include the word 'fart'. Unabridged, eh? Pfffft.

You might think fart was excluded because it's vulgar, but when I was a kid we had an ancient dictionary - all yellow pages falling out, old book smell, the works -  and it not only included 'fart' but it defined it thus: an explosion from between the legs. An explosion! From between the legs! You can imagine the mirth that ensued when my brother and I read this. It makes me laugh now. It was also a little too heavy to lug home, especially with the other stuff I was already carrying. But after seeing the 1888 ad for Webster's on Wiki page, I kinda wish I'd bought it now. Webster's unabridged dictionary: a library in itself.  Maybe it will still be there when I go back. With my nanna trolley.

I bought myself an Etch-A-Sketch. But you probably know that already if you looked at the photo above. Hours of fun for only $15 at Big W. I'm practising drawing robots.

Instead of taking a known route from the dietician to Chapel Street, I walked up Williams Road and found this cool old Coca Cola sign.

Coca-Cola - Be really refreshed

  

And this fabulous ramshackle house. You can't quite see it in this photo, but the house has a name (as old houses often did). Its name is Haven. While I was looking up and appreciating the irony, I was listening to Boy and Bear singing, "Come dancing in the garden of my haven, won't you dear?". It's freakish how often the music I'm listening to provides the perfect soundtrack for what I'm doing.

It was getting towards sunset when I was walking home along the river. I stopped to take some photos of the view towards the city from a little jetty thing down on the river...and didn't stop...well, I did eventually because it was dark and I was hungry. I took 155 photos of the city,  the Our Magic Hour art installation, reflections on the water and trains crossing the Yarra. I walked home excited to see if the photos looked as good on my laptop as on my camera display.  I was not disappointed. Yay. Now to choose a few to blog...

 Part of the Our Magic Hour installation atop the Sportsgirl building

AAMI Park and the city

I'm just a d-d-dork addicted to haberdashery

How has it taken me so long to discover the joy of Google Translate? Type in the word 'dork' and then after it translates, tap the 'listen' button at fairly rapid but irregular intervals. The lady translator in the computer does the stutter-rap. Dork-dork-d-d-d-d-dork-dor-dork-dork-dork. That kept me entertained and cackling for many minutes yesterday. As did translating silly expressions and rude words into German. It was ace Hosen.  Arcuh-hawzen-ar-ar-arcuh-haw-haw-hawzen. Maybe you had to be there...Sigh.

Yesterday was an absolutely stunning winter's day in Melbourne. It's back to gloomy today, but the smell of jasmine on the night air and the blooming of magnolias tells me that spring is packing its bags and wondering where it left its car keys.

Sometimes when I'm at home I can hear a currawong calling. It reminds me of my wonderful get-away to Walhalla with Luke for my birthday in July.

I have a confession to make: I'm addicted to haberdashery, and art and craft stores. I can wander for ages looking at all the bits and bobs and pretty things. I used to wander around feeling an urge to get crafty and then walk out empty-handed. But yesterday I went a bit bonkers in Clegs and spent $70 (and got a receipt longer than my arm. Literally). It was like I was on The Price is Right: Crafters Edition. I have several little (and easy) projects planned for my week off (which started today. Hurrah!).

Luke is going overseas for a couple of weeks tomorrow night. I bought him this to take with him as a sort of tiny proxy me.

There's a very cute moose in the hoose

Slack plovers, perfect brows, more Seuss

I saw Mr and Mrs Plover on my walk again this morning. When I first spotted them they were grooming themselves, but as soon as I stopped to take a photo, they started hunting for food again. It was like I'd caught them slacking off at work!

I got my eyebrows waxed again. The waxer told me I had perfect eyebrows (but obviously not so perfect they couldn't use a little tidy). I'll add that to my list of less common compliments, although it's not as uncommon as being told you're a good bleeder. That's what the Blood Bank lady said. Great brows, fast-flowing blood. *smug face*

I know I'm not meant to be buying more books until I finish the pile on my bedside table, but how could I resist Dr Seuss and Philosophy: Oh, the Thinks You Can think!? I read about it in an email from fishpond.com and had paid for it less than 10 minutes later. I already broke the no-new-books rule by buying the Gradual Demise of Phillipa Finch anyway. It's funny and whimsical and lovely.

Remember the rabbit that was a cushion with a face? Here's a feline equivalent:

Flying angry kitty cushion

Old friend, squee-fest, day trippin'. And balls.

My weekend of fun and frivolity continues. I met a friend from my uni days whom I haven't seen for months on Victoria Street in Richmond. We had lunch* and a good catch up - she's one of those precious friends you can go ages without seeing, but you slip effortlessly back into the friendship like it's a pair of comfy slippers.

After lunch Carly and I went over the road to Daiso, the Japanese $2.80 shop (that's inflation for ya). I've never been there before, but Carly - who's still a big kid like me, only she has small kids - is a veteran and loves it. It was a hoot and a squee-fest. We alternated between giggling at the hilariously translated directions on stuff and exclaiming, "OH MY GOD! That's SO cute!".

My frivolously awesome purchases:

* a set of animal erasers that are not only cute, but scented.

* a set of wee pencil topper erasers shaped like animals.

* a microfibre cloth in the shape of an apple. I might be more inclined to clean the dust off my laptop now.

* a scouring pad with strawberries on it.

* a watering can shaped liked an elephant.

* a set of brightly coloured sticky tabs.

* three correction tape dispensers....one shaped like a penguin, one like a rabbit and one like a chicken. I couldn't decide.

* a tin of little coloured pencils. OK, so I've gone a bit overboard on pencils.

* a photo frame. Just plain black. Not sure how that slipped through their quality control.

After that, I walked up to Smith Street and poked about a second-hand shop, took photos of old signs (more! More old signs!) and I finally spotted the building that housed the famous MacRobertson confectionery factory! I've read a little bit about it and founder Macpherson Robertson in books about Melbourne and have wondered where it was and today I spotted it! It's up the Alexandra Parade end.

Guess what I just found out? I googled MacRobertson and discovered that Douglas Mawson named part of Antarctica MacRobertson Land after him! (He funded the expedition) How ace is that?! I don't know why, but this pleases me immensely. Macrob was an eccentric and fascinating man - one of the most notable characters in Melbourne history. I must find out more about him. 

Anyway, after that I wandered up to Brunswick Street and bought bagels. I passed a girl sitting outside a cafe in the sunshine, bent low over a notebook, writing furiously. As I waited for the tram outside a nursery, a girl pressed her nose to a honeysuckle flower, closed her eyes and inhaled its perfume. Sometimes I wish I could take photos of people without them seeing. I'm too shy to ask. I know! I need a spy camera! That wouldn't be creepy at ALL, would it? 

I headed into the city to meet a friend. We met on the steps of the State Library. He indulged me by letting me show him all my silly purchases. He liked the bagels best. Boys, eh?

Speaking of boys...

The guy I like^ is taking me on a day trip to the Mornington Peninsula on Good Friday. (He lives down that way.)  I can't wait. I haven't been down that way for years, although that's not really the reason I can't wait.  

* I ordered the beef ball soup thinking it was balls made of beef but after biting into the first one, I wasn't so sure. Very rubbery. Squeaked against my teeth a tiny bit. Carly said, "You've seen testicles before, haven't you?" Me: "Yes, but only inside a scrotum; not...on the loose." Carly: "Didn't you grow up on a farm?" Me: Yes, but I've still only seen bull testicles attached to a bull." They weren't unpleasant. The ones in my soup, I mean.

^ If you haven't already guessed, that guy is Luke.

The Gleeful Omnibus. Vrooooom!

Artwork atop the Sportsgirl building in Richmond.

At last the interwebz have told me what this is!

Tsk tsk. I haven't blogged in nearly a week, but it's not because there's been a lack of glee in my life. Not at all. There's been loads of glee. LOADS of it. I'll start with today.

I went shopping on Chapel Street with the intention of buying some quirky homewares for my flat. I ended up buying three original My Little Ponies (one wears a tiara! Another has little pink glasses! Just like real ponies!), a giant bubble blowing wand, rainbow gel pens, the cutest notebook, a beautiful postcard by an artist called Art and Ghosts, a gorgeous colouring book and coloured pencils. Yes, ALL for me!

The colouring book is called Lolo isn't Lonely Anymore - "When Lolo's house is sold, she must move far away from her beloved city to the country. Everything is different, and at first she is very lonely, but soon she learns to listen and look, and finally starts to notice all the great things that were there all along".  The story speaks to me (it's a little bit like this blog really) and the illustrations are lovely. I hope I don't mess it up when I colour it in!

A trio of cats sunning themselves in a bookshop window

I walked home from Chapel Street along the river. I don't often walk along that stretch of the Yarra, but it offers some great views of the city, including this lovely vista. I just happened along at the perfect time of day.

And then I noticed a fairly well-concealed rough path heading down to a jetty on the water so I went down there and it was beautiful - the view of the city at sunset and the almost-full moon and Our Magic Hour sign reflecting on the water. I love you with all my heart, Melbourne.

Secret spill

I have been wearing new ankle boots all week. They're very comfy and I love them...although I did fall over in them at work BUT NO ONE SAW ME! How 'bout that, eh?! 30-odd people in my department and I fell over out of sight. Go, me! (If Frisky falls in the office and nobody sees her and nobody hears her, the bruise on her kneecap shall be proof that it did happen!)

Speaking of work, there's been a re-shuffle in my group and after Easter I will start working for one of my favourite people in the department. She's awesome - very funny and so lovely. I'm very happy about being her minion. Our first task shall be to work out how to buy gin on her corporate Amex.

The not-very-early birds 

For the last week or so on the way to work, I have passed Mr and Mrs Plover hunting for their breakfast on the same stretch of riverbank. I like seeing them every day. They're another addition to my free- range menagerie of birdy pets. I've seen them catch a few worms too. This proves that the saying about the early bird is wrong. You heard it here first.

I've also seen possums, two scampering rats, and a native water rat (rakali) swimming in the river (at night, not on my way to work).

We've had some very damp weather this week, but I find it hard to be glum about it when I can look out my office window and see a huge blanket of dark grey cloud suspended over the city, waiting to dump its load. It looked quite apocalyptic, but fantastic (sorry, no photo).


MORE comedy!

Luke and I went to see comedian Mark Watson last night (at the Forum again). I loved it. There wasn't a lot of discernible structure to his stand-up, but he's face-hurtingly funny, the crowd interaction was great and, like David O'Doherty, he has such a likeable stage presence. And five minutes before the show was due to start he was sitting on a couch in the foyer chatting to punters and having his photo taken!

Cute Satan

I saw Satan in the city last night when I was waiting for Luke. Two Satans in fact. A man-sized devil and his mini-me devil sidekick. MIDGET SATAN! (yes, I know midget isn't PC, but it's funnier than LITTLE PERSON SATAN!). Midget Satan was tiny and adorable. He chased a girl with his pitchfork and she ran away squealing. What a sook. (I think they were promoting a Comedy Festival show.)

The leaves are starting to turn colour and fall. Yay, autumn!

Tomorrow I'm having brunch with a friend I haven't seen in ages and then we're going to Daiso, which I'm told is like a Japanse $2 shop. Can't wait!


Sneaky important bit hidden at the bottom

There's a boy that I like and he likes me too!

River reflection of Our Magic Hour

Two suns, lots of fun, and a memory for numbers

This is the sun setting from my boss's office. Not the most spectacular sunset, but still quite pretty and a great view of it. More spectacular were the dual reflections of the sun bouncing off Eureka Tower and converging so that they looked like a second sun. Waaaait a minute. the sun was over there before. What's it doing over there now? it was pretty cool, but I didn't get a photo of that.

I have lots of fun stuff happening this month - lots to look forward to. I'm going to a comedy gig tomorrow night (taking potluck on what tickets are available), I've got a girlie shopping weekend with a friend this weekend, I'm seeing Mark Watson next Friday, then in the two weeks after that I'm seeing Daniel Kitson and the musical Next to Normal. I'd like to fit in a few more comedy gigs too.

I have been in my job long enough now that I can remember many of our eight-digit file numbers off the top of my head. This delights me disproportionately.

At the gym tonight there were program cards near mine for people called Zayne and Jay. I re-arranged them so they went: Jay, Jayne, Zayne. That just seemed right.