A list of happymaking stuff

A bowl of foraged botanical bits n bobs

I'm quite the happy camper lately, as I've mentioned here recently. Actually, it's more accurate to say I'm an even happier camper, since I was fairly happy before (apart from that brief period I was off my meds). 

I've mentioned some of the reasons for this here and there, but here's a comprehensive list of reasons just because I like lists:

• I'm working four days a week instead of five. Less 
• I'm getting up earlier, which makes me happier because I like being up that early even if I don't love getting up that early (it makes sense to me...); I like seeing the sunrise from my bedroom window; I like not rushing in the mornings to get to work and having time to potter around a bit; I like getting to work on time (or even early); and I like having the time to walk to work again.
• I'm walking to work every day and home again most days. Walking along the river to work (and not having to deal with nuisance people on the tram) is a pleasant way to start the day. I get 40 minutes of exercise under my belt before 9.00am and a little dose of nature (as close to nature as you can get when you live a few kilometres from the CBD anyway).  
• I broke my almost-compulsive shopping habit (I have only about two months left of my year 12-month shopping ban and a new challenge in the pipeline). Overcoming that constant yearning to acquire more and more shoes and clothes has made a huge impact on my life satisfaction. It's hard to feel content when you are always wanting. 
• I've been in a super creative phase, fuelled mostly by my Instagram feed, which is full of flowers, nature and flatlays. Foraging for the bits and pieces to use in my flatlays is fun. 
• I've stopped complaining on social media and am actively being more positive (eg posting complimentary comments on Instagram). Not complaining boosted my happiness, but spreading positivity about the net wherever I go turbo-charged it.  
• I spend a fair bit of time on social media, but I actively manage my feeds to get what I want from them - entertainment (obviously), and news and information on topics that are important to me, but also connection with like-minded people, inspiration and positive vibes. For example, I follow many women who are feminists and body positivity advocates and their posts have had an impact not only on how I think about my own body, but about other women's bodies too. I'm less judgemental about them and less judgemental about myself (not that I hated my body before, but every bit of extra kindness helps). 
• I've been practising being less judgemental in general and trying not to let insignificant things get to me (I am normally irritated by many, many, MANY insignificant things). I do this by second-guessing myself - when I notice judgemental or irritable thoughts creeping in, I counteract it with another thought - e.g. "How can these idiots I work with not know how to stack a dishwasher?!" is replaced with, "Well, at least they're putting their dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them on the sink for someone else to deal with." And then I let it go. Most of the time. 
• I've been seeing a dietician who specialises in intuitive eating to help repair my unhealthy relationship with food. I have a history of disordered eating (but not a diagnosed eating disorder), which hasn't been helped by a long list of food intolerances that means I just can't eat whatever I want. I'm good at restriction...until I'm not and then I eat everything in sight. I lose weight and feel OK (physically, I mean)...then I put it all back on and feel rotten. Rinse and repeat. I decided I needed to finally get this feast/famine cycle sorted out for the sake of my health (physical and mental). I've seen the dietician three times and I feel like I've made good progress. 
• I've stopped eating gluten, which means I don't feel utterly exhausted and wracked with pain. Fatigue and pain really drag you down.
• The procedure I had in December has dramatically reduced the number of migraines I get (and also potentially prevented a brain haemorrhage/stroke. Not dying or being permanently incapacitated is very good for your mental state!). 

A year of four days

Sunrise this morning from my bedroom

Last Friday was my the one-year anniversary of working four days a week. Already! Even though I've been doing it for twelve months now, it still feels like a novelty - a bloody fantastic novelty. I'm not sure it will ever stop feeling novel. 

I'm much happier in general (only partly due to working less), I'm happier at work (not that I was unhappy before) and my relationship with my boss is even better. I don't really miss the extra income - starting a shopping ban a few months after dropping back to four days is a big factor in that. 

I haven't done any of the things I thought I might do with the extra day back at the beginning - finding a new job, studying or doing volunteer work - but that's OK because I'm very content with the way things are. I have no plans to look for a new job for the foreseeable future - I'd only consider leaving for another job that was also four days a week anyway. I'm not ruling out volunteer work or study at some point, but for now I'm enjoying the extra 'me' time and the chance to rest more.  

Most of my Fridays are spent going to appointments and running errands, which sounds dull but because these were things I used to have to cram into lunch breaks or after work, or sometimes take time off for, my working days are now more relaxed. 

Most of my Fridays also feature an afternoon nap, or at least a lie down. 

In other news...

I had a routine follow up angiogram yesterday to make sure the procedure back in December fixed my abnormal brain vein, and I got the all clear. Yay. I still get some migraines triggered by other things, but way less than before. Who would have thought having a DVT would turn out to be a good thing? (My abnormal brain vein was found because my neurologist ordered an MRI after I told her I had a DVT.) 

NaBloPoMo: day 23, 24, 25, 26 and 27

How has it been five days since I last posted? I've had a friend visiting for a couple of days so I haven't been online as much, but five days?! I'm not doing a very good job of NaBloPoMo, am I? 

Here's some stuff that's happened. 

Kranski! 

I had dinner with my friends Lauren and Bertie at the Munich Brauhaus on Wednesday night. Yes, the German restaurant was my idea. Predictably, I had cheese kranskies, potato salad and sauerkraut. And a pretzel. Yum. The company was good too. Lauren had some wonderful news to share - she's finally leaving the firm where we all met years ago. Hurrah!

I got a new piece of jewellery. Many migraine sufferers say this piercing (known as a daith piercing) cured or relieved their migraines, so my friend Deliea (also a chronic migraineur) and I decided to give it a crack. There's no science to back it up and other migraineurs say it made no difference, but we thought we'd find out for ourselves. I'll leave the ring in regardless, because I like it.  

I have a back up plan to ease my migraines anyway. You know how I spent a day in hospital having a test done last week? Well, I had a cerebral angiogram so my doctors could get a better look at a mass in my noggin that was discovered because my neurologist wanted to check if I had any clots in my sinuses after I mentioned that I'd had a DVT. The mass is an abnormal tangle of veins (arteriovenous malformation) and it could be the cause of some of my migraines. I'll be having it treated in the next few weeks (probably in a similar process to the angiogram - i.e. a catheter inserted into the femoral artery). After suffering migraines since my teens, this development seems almost too good to be true!

Cheese avalanche

After the piercing (which hurt, but but not for long), Deliea and I had burgers at Parlour Diner - the place I had that super oozy cheesy burger a few weeks ago. I had the same burger and it was just as good. (That's a rather unappetising looking gluten-free bun, but it's surprisingly sturdy and held everything together well.)

Happy, happy, happy

Even the rain can't dampen my mood 

Remember that mysterious lightheartedness I wrote about six weeks ago when I went back to work after my holiday up north? Well, it continues! That makes it less of a mystery: I'm happy!

I'm exhausted and I feel like I've been trampled by a herd of wildebeest, but I'm still happy. I wasn't unhappy before, but now I have that little spring of happiness bubbling away inside me and it's delightful. 

Life is pretty good. I absolutely love my four-day weeks and I'm enjoying my job. I'm relishing being free of the urge to splurge on clothes and shoes (three months and counting...). Luke's almost-three-week absence in July/August seems to have made our hearts grow fonder, and not just for a weeks or so. I actually feel excited about seeing him every day when I get home from work. It's like a new romance all over again (only I don't need to shave my legs regularly or leave the room to fart). 

Although I'm not feeling great physically, there has been some improvement on the migraine front. I've gone off prevention medication and I'm only taking a supplement recommended by my neurologist called MigraineCare, which is mostly magnesium and B vitamins. I'm still getting migraines, but the frequency and duration is significantly reduced, and that's gotta be good for my state of mind. (It's no surprise that chronic pain and depression often go hand in hand.) 

Speaking of depression, I decided about a month ago to reduce my (already fairly low) antidepressant dose by half. I tried to halve my dose at the beginning of last year, but it was short-lived because I very quickly returned to being my unmedicated moody, cranky, negative self again. This made me wonder if my recent happiness was really 'real' while I was on medication.

But I'm pleased to report my happiness does indeed seem real. It's actual happiness, not chemically induced. I have noticed a difference, but not in a bad way - I just feel a little more emotional when I see sad things on TV. For example, last week Foreign Correspondent was about China's so-called left-behind children - kids whose parents have left them, usually in the care of relatives, to move to far-away cities for work, ostensibly to earn money to give their kids a better life. But those poor kids barely had any contact with their parents and they were not always treated well by their relatives. One little girl's fondest wish was simply to have a birthday cake. I nearly cried. But I don't think it's bad to feel more if your feelings are 'normal' and healthy. 

I've pondered why I'm doing better on a lower dose this time around and I suspect it's related to my belly. Yep, my belly. Sounds odd, but there is increasing evidence of close links between mental health and gut health. Back at the start of the year my gut was basically a cauldron of nasty bacteria, but after months of diet modification and supplementation to heal my gut, it's functioning vastly better. I can't know for sure, but I reckon a better balance of gut bacteria is related to my more balanced mental state. 

But I'm not spending too much time analysing it; I'm just enjoying it. 

November: day 11

My new hair, as cut and photographed 
by Angela at Razor Dolls

Can you believe it? I walked to work again today! Twice in one week! I woke up early again and got out of bed early again and got to work even earlier than on Monday. Who'da thunk?

My early start this morning was mainly because I was off sick with a migraine yesterday* and I had a LOT of sleep, so my body decided it had had enough well before my alarm was due to go off.

I don't feel quite so much of a physical wreck tonight. This  exercise thing must be good for you...

***

Luke made crumbed chicken drumsticks for dinner. He is an expert crumber, They were crunchy outside and deliciously tender and juicy inside.

* Also the reason I didn't post a blog yesterday. I'm not officially signed up for NaBloPoMo, so whatevah. 

It's November

Hello, November! Yes, I'm making another (mostly likely half-arsed) attempt at resurrecting my blog by participating in NaBloPoMo. Sometimes I wonder if I should abandon blogging altogether - if I really wanted to write this blog, I'd just do it, wouldn't I? 

Regardless, here I am. Thirty posts in 30 days. 

I've had a very lazy weekend, which was just what I needed. My body was feeling broken after walking down 38 flights of stairs during an emergency evacuation drill on Monday, a migraine on Thursday and a very vigorous (but excellent) massage that left my back and neck feeling bruised. 

Thursday's migraine was the first I've had in almost a month. This is almost unprecedented! I'm on new prevention medication that's working well so far, and I'm only on a half-dose at this stage. Happily, the side-effects are minimal. 

This coming week is only four days long thanks to the Melbourne Cup Day public holiday on Tuesday. I have to work tomorrow but it will most likely be very quiet as so many people take the Monday off as well. 

Smooth

Me trying to furrow my brow, about a month post-Botox*

(* treatment for migraine, with cosmetic side-effects)