A list of happymaking stuff

A bowl of foraged botanical bits n bobs

I'm quite the happy camper lately, as I've mentioned here recently. Actually, it's more accurate to say I'm an even happier camper, since I was fairly happy before (apart from that brief period I was off my meds). 

I've mentioned some of the reasons for this here and there, but here's a comprehensive list of reasons just because I like lists:

• I'm working four days a week instead of five. Less 
• I'm getting up earlier, which makes me happier because I like being up that early even if I don't love getting up that early (it makes sense to me...); I like seeing the sunrise from my bedroom window; I like not rushing in the mornings to get to work and having time to potter around a bit; I like getting to work on time (or even early); and I like having the time to walk to work again.
• I'm walking to work every day and home again most days. Walking along the river to work (and not having to deal with nuisance people on the tram) is a pleasant way to start the day. I get 40 minutes of exercise under my belt before 9.00am and a little dose of nature (as close to nature as you can get when you live a few kilometres from the CBD anyway).  
• I broke my almost-compulsive shopping habit (I have only about two months left of my year 12-month shopping ban and a new challenge in the pipeline). Overcoming that constant yearning to acquire more and more shoes and clothes has made a huge impact on my life satisfaction. It's hard to feel content when you are always wanting. 
• I've been in a super creative phase, fuelled mostly by my Instagram feed, which is full of flowers, nature and flatlays. Foraging for the bits and pieces to use in my flatlays is fun. 
• I've stopped complaining on social media and am actively being more positive (eg posting complimentary comments on Instagram). Not complaining boosted my happiness, but spreading positivity about the net wherever I go turbo-charged it.  
• I spend a fair bit of time on social media, but I actively manage my feeds to get what I want from them - entertainment (obviously), and news and information on topics that are important to me, but also connection with like-minded people, inspiration and positive vibes. For example, I follow many women who are feminists and body positivity advocates and their posts have had an impact not only on how I think about my own body, but about other women's bodies too. I'm less judgemental about them and less judgemental about myself (not that I hated my body before, but every bit of extra kindness helps). 
• I've been practising being less judgemental in general and trying not to let insignificant things get to me (I am normally irritated by many, many, MANY insignificant things). I do this by second-guessing myself - when I notice judgemental or irritable thoughts creeping in, I counteract it with another thought - e.g. "How can these idiots I work with not know how to stack a dishwasher?!" is replaced with, "Well, at least they're putting their dishes in the dishwasher instead of leaving them on the sink for someone else to deal with." And then I let it go. Most of the time. 
• I've been seeing a dietician who specialises in intuitive eating to help repair my unhealthy relationship with food. I have a history of disordered eating (but not a diagnosed eating disorder), which hasn't been helped by a long list of food intolerances that means I just can't eat whatever I want. I'm good at restriction...until I'm not and then I eat everything in sight. I lose weight and feel OK (physically, I mean)...then I put it all back on and feel rotten. Rinse and repeat. I decided I needed to finally get this feast/famine cycle sorted out for the sake of my health (physical and mental). I've seen the dietician three times and I feel like I've made good progress. 
• I've stopped eating gluten, which means I don't feel utterly exhausted and wracked with pain. Fatigue and pain really drag you down.
• The procedure I had in December has dramatically reduced the number of migraines I get (and also potentially prevented a brain haemorrhage/stroke. Not dying or being permanently incapacitated is very good for your mental state!). 

Happy, happy, happy

Even the rain can't dampen my mood 

Remember that mysterious lightheartedness I wrote about six weeks ago when I went back to work after my holiday up north? Well, it continues! That makes it less of a mystery: I'm happy!

I'm exhausted and I feel like I've been trampled by a herd of wildebeest, but I'm still happy. I wasn't unhappy before, but now I have that little spring of happiness bubbling away inside me and it's delightful. 

Life is pretty good. I absolutely love my four-day weeks and I'm enjoying my job. I'm relishing being free of the urge to splurge on clothes and shoes (three months and counting...). Luke's almost-three-week absence in July/August seems to have made our hearts grow fonder, and not just for a weeks or so. I actually feel excited about seeing him every day when I get home from work. It's like a new romance all over again (only I don't need to shave my legs regularly or leave the room to fart). 

Although I'm not feeling great physically, there has been some improvement on the migraine front. I've gone off prevention medication and I'm only taking a supplement recommended by my neurologist called MigraineCare, which is mostly magnesium and B vitamins. I'm still getting migraines, but the frequency and duration is significantly reduced, and that's gotta be good for my state of mind. (It's no surprise that chronic pain and depression often go hand in hand.) 

Speaking of depression, I decided about a month ago to reduce my (already fairly low) antidepressant dose by half. I tried to halve my dose at the beginning of last year, but it was short-lived because I very quickly returned to being my unmedicated moody, cranky, negative self again. This made me wonder if my recent happiness was really 'real' while I was on medication.

But I'm pleased to report my happiness does indeed seem real. It's actual happiness, not chemically induced. I have noticed a difference, but not in a bad way - I just feel a little more emotional when I see sad things on TV. For example, last week Foreign Correspondent was about China's so-called left-behind children - kids whose parents have left them, usually in the care of relatives, to move to far-away cities for work, ostensibly to earn money to give their kids a better life. But those poor kids barely had any contact with their parents and they were not always treated well by their relatives. One little girl's fondest wish was simply to have a birthday cake. I nearly cried. But I don't think it's bad to feel more if your feelings are 'normal' and healthy. 

I've pondered why I'm doing better on a lower dose this time around and I suspect it's related to my belly. Yep, my belly. Sounds odd, but there is increasing evidence of close links between mental health and gut health. Back at the start of the year my gut was basically a cauldron of nasty bacteria, but after months of diet modification and supplementation to heal my gut, it's functioning vastly better. I can't know for sure, but I reckon a better balance of gut bacteria is related to my more balanced mental state. 

But I'm not spending too much time analysing it; I'm just enjoying it. 

Yummm

I mentioned in my previous post that I'm on a modified diet, but that doesn't mean I've been deprived of tasty, tasty things. This morning for breakfast I had homemade potato salad with bacon and boiled egg, avocado, cherry tomatoes and feta. So good. 

For lunch I had beef curry, which I made from scratch. I totally improvised the spice mix, but it was yummy. Go, me. I made a big pot of it, so I have tasty lunches for the week ahead. 

I had delicious sweet strawberries for an afternoon snack, but I can't take any credit for those.  

(If you're wondering what I'm not eating, I've cut out all added sugar and most carbs because bad gut bacteria love that stuff.)

  

I'm baaa-aaaack. Yet again.

OK, it's the first day of May - MAY, I TELL YOU! - and it's high time I got off my butt and wrote a damn blog post. You might wonder why I didn't just throw in the blogging towel since I've been doing such a lousy job of it for quite some time now. I did consider it, but decided instead to do the exact opposite: post every day, like I intended when I started writing Gleeful all those years ago. But I'm not just going to do it for a month this time. I'm gonna do it for-EVAAAH. Yup. 

So here goes. 

I've been having a pretty good year so far. My highlights reel includes a splendid Christmas/New Year road trip with Luke up to Mum's place. We stayed with Mum for about 10 days, eating lots of pavlova and tripping about the nearby rainforests, beaches and national parks, then drove home via the Tamworth, the Blue Mountains, Bathurst, Orange and Wagga.  I'll post some photos some time (or check out em out at Frisky_Librarian on Instagram).

We've ventured out of Melbourne quite a bit - day trips to the little town of Birregurra and the Great Ocean Road, the Yarra Ranges and Dandenongs, as well as an overnight stay at Mt Beauty in the gorgeous Victorian high country last weekend for the Bright Autumn Festival. The high country is now my favourite part of Victoria.  

Another highlight is a significant (and ongoing) improvement in my health. I've been seeing a functional medicine doctor (like a cross between a GP and a naturopath) who put me on a program to heal my gut through diet modification and supplementation. It's costing me a small fortune, but it's the ONLY thing that's made any real difference. (I try not to think of all the money I've spent over the years on allergists, dieticians and gastroenterologists who charged me hundreds of dollars a go for basically nothing). Progress is fairly slow, but I'm finally making actual progress. Hurrah! (I've also lost about 7kg while still eating bacon, cheese and sausages. Suh-weet!)

Another really good bit about this year is that I have dropped back to working four days a week. Woohoo! I've been having Fridays off for about 6 weeks now and I love it. So far I've mainly used the extra day for running errands and attending appointments...and afternoon naps. Three days feels like a decent weekend and I'm more positive about work on the four days I'm there.  Of course I'm earning less, but I've made up for most of my lost income just by bringing my lunch and snacks from home (which I had to do anyway because of my modified diet).

That's not bad for the year to date, is it? I'm pretty happy with my lot. 

Another year over, a new one just begun

Happy 2015 everyone. Yeah, I'm still hanging around. I didn't manage to revive my blogging mojo towards the end of 2014, but I'm committed to giving it a good kick up the bum this year.

I feel as if 2014 was an average year for me. Nothing awful happened, but nothing wonderful happened either. I can't think of a highlight. It was just...meh. I wonder if my lack of blogging has anything to do with it? The unexamined life is not worth living and all that? It's not as if I didn't do anything fun. There was glee.

A more likely explanation is my chronic fatigue (which also partly explains my lack of blogging). For the past three or four months I feel as if I did nothing but work and sleep. There were quite a few days where I came home from work and went straight to bed and some days on the weekends when I spent most of the day sleeping or on the couch in my pyjamas staring at the internet. I did do fun stuff, but I could have had more fun if I had some energy.

This year I plan to get some energy. I'm going to overhaul my diet by having a crack at the paleo diet. Stop rolling your eyes, you. I'm skeptical about the science paleo proponents use to back up their caveman eating (and Pete Evans is bloody annoying), but the diets prescribed by the medical specialists I've been seeing for years have done almost nothing to relieve my fatigue. I've read so many stories of people overcoming chronic, severe fatigue - people who felt like crap all the time like me, but felt amazing after going paleo - that I can't ignore it (or sneer at it) anymore. I want to feel amazing (although I'd settle for good). I've been tired for 20 years. I've had enough.

But I'm not going to start it until after Luke and I get back from our road trip next weekend (special diet + travel = too hard).  Wooh, road trip! We're going on a coastal and high country jaunt that will take us to the pointy end of Victoria and the highest mountain in Australia. 

Our proposed route (enlarge for bigger picture)

The route covers a bit more than 1,600 kms (about 22 hours of driving), which we will do in a week. The major stops on our itinerary start with Wilsons Promontory on day one. Luke hasn't been since he was a kid and I haven't been for more than five years, so I'm looking forward to it.  

Day two will take us to Ninety Mile Beach and Lakes Entrance, which is as far east as I've been in Victoria so everything thereafter will be new to me.  Next up will be Mallacoota at the pointy end of the state. I'd like to go over to nearby Gabo Island because it's mentioned on the ABC weather report quite often and I want to say, "We've been there!" every time. 

Next up we'll head to Jindabyne over the border in NSW and Mount Kosciuszko National Park (pronounced Kozzi-osco for you non-Aussies, although the proper pronunciation of the Polish name is Koz-chooz-ko). 

I've just read that you can walk to the top of the mountain and it's not even that physically demanding! "Anyone with a modest level of fitness can walk to the top," Wikipedia says. The walk is about 8km one way though.  

After that we'll head south to Omeo. I'm particularly looking forward to this part of the trip because I've read the high country scenery is breathtaking (that might be in part due to the windy roads and steep drops to the forest floor...). 

Our final major stop will be Mansfield before we coast home.  We leave this Sunday. I can't wait! 

Now I need to go an have a lie down. 

Surprise bread

For the past three weeks I've been making yet another attempt at completing the RPAH elimination diet to work out what foods are making me feel crappy. I haven't had bread in all that time because there's almost no gluten-free breads on the market that meet the very strict requirements of the diet. I love bread and I miss it - and the quick, convenient light meals bread can make - so I decided to buy a breadmaker and make my own.

I got in on sale (yay!) at Target and lugged it home in the rain this afternoon. I whacked my first lot of mix in the machine without high hopes of success. I'd used gluten-free and yeast-free bread mix, but the gluten-free cycle on the machine assumes you're using yeast in your gluten-free bread. I expected it to turn out a heavy housebrick of a loaf, but I was very pleasantly surprised.

Yeah, it doesn't look great, and it didn't smell as good as 'real' bread, but the texture is almost as soft and light as real bread. It's certainly much better than commercial gluten-free, yeast-free brands. The crust is quite chewy, which I like. Pretty good for a first attempt, I reckon, and definitely good enough to satisfy my need for toast. Now I just have to try not to eat it all at once...

I got my eyebrows waxed and tinted today - the first time I've had the tint done. I wasn't sure about the darker colour at first - I thought they overpowered my face - but Luke noticed my haircut, not my brows, so they can't be too heavy. I think I'm used to them now.

It was nice having my hair cut after a couple of weeks of really needing a trim, but not managing to get around to visiting the salon.

Sunshine, rolling, long weekend

 

Another gorgeous winter's day in Melbourne. My walk into the city this afternoon to go to the gym (again!) was very pleasant. The autumn leaves are still falling. I saw sleepy ducks and children rolling down the big hill at Birrarung Marr.

  

I have asked to take this Friday off work, which would give me a four-day long weekend (and two four-day working weeks). Can't wait. It's too hard to go away (even overnight) while I'm on this allergy elimination diet, but a day trip or two is on the cards.

I've been on the diet for two weeks now and I'm finally making some good progress. Yay! At last!

Pudding, saving, stepping

I am on the sixth day of another attempt at completing an allergy elimination diet. It's difficult because the food you're allowed to eat is bland, but last night I made gluten-free butterscotch pudding for dessert and it was delicious. Deeee-LICIOUS.  Luke said it was a "tremendous pudding". *pats self on back* (And there's leftovers!)

I'm slowly starting to feel better and I'm saving loads of money because I can't eat out or buy lunch, which is handy since I'm seriously starting to consider not getting another flatmate in... It's a lot of money, but I think maybe it's worth it.

Today is day 10 of the Global Corporate Challenge. So far walking 10,000 steps a day hasn't been hard. My daily average is 15,950 steps and my personal best is 19,389. I thought my weekend step-count would be much higher than my week-day count because I usually do a lot of walking on weekends and I have an office job, but I'm walking more during the week. That's quite pleasing  - I might work at a desk, but I'm not sedentary.

Cow eyes...and big plans for 2009

OK, this is a baby cow

I made eye contact with a cow today. It's not every day you get to look into the big brown eyes of a cow on the fringe of the city.

Unfortunately, the glee of the cow gaze was momentary because the cow (probably a steer actually) was crammed into the back of a truck with a lot of other cattle most likely on its way to an unpleasant fate...

I have decided I'm going to become a vegetarian next year. Not just from looking into the cow's eyes today - I've been thinking about it for some time, for numerous reasons, including animal welfare.

I would start now, but I have an allergy elimination diet to get out of the way, hopefully early in the new year. It's a damn hard diet to do without adding in the restrictions of vegetarianism.


New year, new plans

I don't now about you, but I'm kind of over 2008 now. I am, however, enjoying thinking ahead to next year and pondering the plans and projects I have in mind.

Apart from knocking over the allergy elimination diet (which will deliver better health and more energy) and becoming a vegetarian, I am also planning to -

* find a new job;

* possibly find a flatmate;

* wade back into the dating pool; and

* launch a new photo blog.

I am also in the midst of compiling a list of 101 things to do before I turn 40 (which is about 3.5 years away). I've got about 55 things on it so far, from places I want to visit, activities I want to do, things I want to learn, creative projects I want to complete, fitness and self-improvement goals, and random silly stuff, like getting purple highlights in my hair!

I have fallen in love with the idea of having projects (and the fact that the 101 things project comes in the form of a list is even better!). I'm hoping that the joy of next year's projects won't only be in crossing things off lists or achieving goals - simply having a project to think about and work on and give extra purpose to my non-working life pleases me.

What are your plans for 2009? Do you have any projects you're working on or planning?