Connecting, leaf collecting, seed popping

Dawood, who works at my nearest supermarket, is the most delightful check-out operator there is. He's friendly and chatty, and he when I said I didn't need plastic bags for my groceries, he commented that I never get bags. He hasn't served me in ages but remembers my bag habits!

This is part of the reason I'm determined to avoid using the DIY check-outs that are popping up everywhere in Melbourne supermarkets - a machine is never going to recognise me or serve me with a smile. Life is impersonal enough as it is. We should be connecting with each other, not retreating. I also had a chat with the butcher too, and not just about the weather.

Actually, I don't think I mentioned it here before, but rather than making a normal New Year's Resolution this year I chose a one-word 'theme' to direct my energies into improving part of my life that I felt was lacking. My theme is 'connect'. Just one short 'doing' word.

And so far I'm doing pretty well. I've made some ace new friends, I've resolved some ongoing issues with a close family member, and  that guy I've liked for ages? He's now my boyfriend. Wooh! Always more connecting to do though...

I saw a little girl in a purple fur-trimmed jacket walking along the street with her parents, holding onto some large, brown autumn leaves. Souvenirs from the park, no doubt.  

I love the way the little round seeds in wholegrain mustard give a teeny tiny pop when you bite on them.

The year that was

OK, it's time to gaze into the navel of the year that was and pick out some bits of gleeful lint to reflect upon. It's been a momentous year for me - it started out very ordinary and got worse but then it gradually came good. It's ended up pretty damn fine.

In keeping with my happiness commandment to dwell on the positive (see sidebar right), I'm not going to catalogue the bad stuff that happened this year (the blog isn't called Shiteful afterall). I can't ignore the bad stuff altogether because much of it turned out to have a silver lining. Silver lined belly button fluff. Hmmmm.

So...the good stuff...

* After realising around this time last year that I was wallowing in a pit of negativity, crankiness and rollercoaster emotions, I went to see a counsellor. Ten sessions later, I emerged much calmer, happier and more positive, but that was just the beginning of the journey (Gah! I wanted to avoid that word!). In addition to the counselling, I have done a lot of reading and reflecting and thinking about my values and priorities and I'm not the same person now that I was at the beginning of the year. There's still some stuff I want to work on, but I'm happy with how far I've come.

* New and improved me sees life through new eyes - kinda like little kid's eyes, the sort that notice small stuff, the every day joys I never used to notice but which, it turns out, actually make me happy - hence Gleeful was born. I have never considered myself to be a passionate person but seeing my life through kid eyes has administered a kick in the pants to my dormant passion and woken it up at last. I feel so much more engaged with and interested in life now - with the place I live, with the world around me, with the whole world. I feel more grateful for what I have and more in touch with the things that really matter to me.

* I split up with my boyfriend (again, but for good this time). OK, it sucked at the time, but I'm over it and I'm happier now. Maybe the highs aren't as high as they were when I was with him, but the rare lows I do have now aren't anywhere near as low either. I am consistently pretty damn happy for no real reason. I've swapped the emotional rollercoaster for the merry-go-round of contentment. Far less vomit and tears.

* I realised I would probably be fine if it turns out that I never have kids. Which means I feel no pressure to find a man while my eggs are still fresh. Which means I am far more content with being single and childless as I stand on the brink of my late 30s. Yes, I would like to find a man to spend my life with...but there's no rush. Life is great as it is.

* "You don't have to live your life the way other people expect you to." This quote, from US entrepreneur/blogger/traveller Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Nonconformity made a real difference to my self-acceptance and happiness levels this year. Sounds kind of obvious when I look back on it, but when I read it, it was a liberating, "Hey, yeah!" moment. Can't believe it took me 30-odd years to work that out. It was an important factor in the realisation that actually I am pretty happy even though I have so far failed to acquire a life partner, children and a mortgage (or even a car) like many of my friends. Non-conformity is ace.

* I started this blog on 1 September and it's been a wonderful and rewarding experience in more ways than one. I started it partly to distract myself from my sadness over the end of my relationship and partly to bring to life my happiness commandments to stop and take notice, and to appreciate the small things. It's done those things exceedingly well. In the beginning, it got me out of my head (where I would have just ruminated pointlessly about my ex) and consciously searching for gleeful things to blog about. But now (most of the time!) I just see life though a gleeful lens without even thinking about it. And if all of that wasn't enough, I've made some new friends in the big wide world of blogging, and very much enjoyed the contributions of 'old' friends who followed me outside Myspace. Thanks guys!

Other stuff that was great...

* Finding out that instead of having to move out of my flat, I would be offered a new 12 month lease (albeit with higher rent).

* Falling hopelessly in love with Melbourne after living here since I was 19.

* Seeing two favourite bands, The Waifs and The Grates, perform live again.

* Discovering a new favourite band - Melbourne country outfit Wagons. I saw them live three times and have been listening to their three albums on my iPod for months on end. Yeah, I might be a little bit obsessed.

* Getting my swisho new camera and getting excited about taking photos all over again.

How was your 2008? What are proudest achievements? Your most gleeful moments? Or are you just kinda glad it's over?

Freaky coincidence number....what am I up to now?

OK, seriously there is some funny business going on. I encountered yet another freaky coincidence last night. Yes! Another one!

I was walking home from a very enjoyable evening of drinks, conversation and late night kebabbery when I passed a guy walking in the opposite direction. A few paces later he called out my name. I turned around and there was the guy with the big red flag over his head from Thursday night! He'd just left a bar nearby.

I ended up having a drink with him, which was fun - certainly more enjoyable than dinner a few nights ago. I was glad to see him again. He's an entertaining guy and we have a few things in common, but he's not a sound emotional investment. I don't want to take any more foolish risks with my heart, at least not just yet.

50 x 2

And then when I was walking home I found another $50 on the ground! You may recall I found a $50 note on the footpath near my house the first week of this blog. Twice in six weeks! Weirdly this time I don't feel bad about profiting from someone's loss, possibly because I'm hanging out for pay day more than usual or maybe because I'm choosing to assume it was dropped by a punter who came home from the Caulfield Cup with a pocket stuffed full of cash. (The Caulfield Cup is the first big race day of Melbourne's Spring Racing Carnival, an annual collision of horseracing, frockery, gambling and falling down drunk in your fanciest get-up.)

How's your weekend been? Anything gleeful?

My irrepressible snowball of happiness

I discovered something on Thursday night that I expected would leave my recent fabulous mood all squashed and gasping for air...but it didn't! Woooh!

I found out my ex boyfriend (the on-off dude) is seeing someone else already, despite insisting for months he didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. The old "it's not you, it's me" line. Not that I believed it, but discovering he has moved on so quickly did knock the wind out of me for a bit.

I was furious at first and my ego is still a little bruised, but...WHATEVER! I'm still happy - and I didn't even need to gather up my thoughts and whip them into a positive frenzy to get there. They did it by themselves.

And that makes me even happier. It's a snowball of happy. It is irrepressible!

Blogger drinks

The drinks on Friday night were fun. It's surreal, in a good way, to finally meet people in the flesh after reading so much about their personal lives and opinions online. I even drank beer and liked it! It was a beer hall, so I thought "when in Rome..." (well, after I discovered they didn't serve spirits I thought that).

It pleases me when I think I don't like something and then I discover that I don't actually dislike all of it afterall. That's how it was with hip hop/rap music. It used to be in my "nup, don't like it" basket, but then I heard some songs by Aussie bands The Herd and the Hilltop Hoods that I enjoyed.

It's good to keep an open mind. It's a quality I find very appealing in other people.

Decluttering pt 1

Phase 1 of my Big Clean Out is complete. With the help of a friend with a car, I took a bunch of unwanted household chemicals to a council depot on Saturday and it felt good to be rid of them. Afterwards we had a nice lunch in the sun on the deck of the Maribyrnong boat house, overlooking the river.

Good, but not grate

Saturday was a warm day and it was beautifully balmy walking into the city to meet my friend before The Grates' gig (I took the pic above on the way). Families barbecued their dinner beside the river and little girls in summer dresses did cartwheels in the park.

Anthony and I then ate too many dumplings at the Shanghai Dumpling House to the accompaniment of Englebert Humperdink's Please Release Me and other cheesy music. Despite our full tummies, we had Trampoline sorbet for dessert - I had lemon, pineapple and passionfruit and it was deliciously refreshing. As we sat on the footpath eating our sorbet, two guys sauntered past wearing nothing but boxer shorts! Hmmm. The city is a strange place sometimes.

The Grates gig was good, although it didn't live up to the high expectations I had after seeing them in 2006. I confess, however, we watched it from the seated comfort of the upstairs bar which probably didn't do the show justice. We were both feeling worn out and couldn't face standing for hours in the sweaty crush of the crowd. Gah! We're old! We were among the oldest there and before The Grates came on stage, we amused ourselves spotting people older than us, of which there were...several. Apparently I have um...youthful taste in music.

The joy of absentmindedness

I keep forgetting that I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Every time I remember I get a little buzz of joy. Wheeee! Holidays!

Did you have a good weekend?