Wednesday, December 22, 2010

2010: it's a wrap

Another year almost done... In Decembers past I have posted a wrap up of the year's most gleeful happenings without any attempt to weigh up the good with the bad because this blog is not concerned with bad stuff.

But this year that approach doesn't feel right. Good things  - wonderful things - have happened, but 2010 has been the worst year of my life. As many of you know, my father died in April after being diagnosed with a terminal illness at the start of January. There's probably nothing that could balance the 2010 scales of happiness after that. I'm not happy really (for various reasons related and unrelated to losing Dad), but I'm working on it.

That said, although Dad's illness and death were harrowing, difficult times are fertile ground for personal growth, and so it was for me.

I realised I am much stronger than I thought. You don't really know what you're capable of until you have to face it head on and just get on with it. I have more faith in myself now. I know that whatever happens, I'll get through it. That's a nice feeling.

I never thought I would be able to stand up in front of all those people at Dad's funeral and speak, but I had to do it for my Dad and I did (I looked at my hands just before I stood up to speak and they weren't even trembling). I can only describe the way I felt afterwards as euphoric. It was an awful day, but an amazing day.

Anyway, enough of the bad-but-good stuff. Here's the unadulterated good bits:

* My trip to New York  was far and away the best bit of 2010, because it was my first ever trip overseas AND I WENT TO NEW YORK! I fell instantly in love with the place. I had the best time and I'm already thinking of going back.

Taking an overseas trip was the number one thing on my list of 101 Things to do Before I'm 40 and I crossed it off before the year was half over. I finally went to another country! Finally!

* Not only did I take my first overseas trip, I did it on my own. I'd never wanted to travel alone before (partly why I got to 38 without having travelled) and before Dad died I was a bit scared about it. I wasn't sure how I'd go. But after his funeral, I wasn't worried at all and I didn't need to be. I hit the ground running - I wasn't scared, I didn't feel overwhelmed, I didn't get lost, I didn't miss any flights and I cruised the subway like a native (well, almost). I felt damned pleased with myself!

* I finally quit the mind numbing job that had me feeling like I was wasting my life away. It was like shedding an old skin and did wonders for my state of mind (albeit temporarily).

* I've had no trouble finding new jobs, even if I haven't settled into a permanent role yet. Despite feeling initially overwhelmed (particularly in my first temp role), I've surprised myself how with quickly I've got the hang of things. I have more confidence in my abilities now.

* I'm working in the area of law I always wanted to work in and I'm working in a top tier firm - it's a looooooooooooong way away from my old job at the firm with 15 people!

What a year of high highs and low lows. It certainly hasn't been boring! It's been a period  of personal growth and some progress in a few areas where changes needed to be made. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm facing in the right direction at least.

I'm looking foward to 2011. It's going to be hard for it to be worse than this year, but I'll probably also have to work at making it better than this year.  I want to go overseas again, get settled into a permanent job once more, get some of my health issues sorted and...well, I'd like to be in a relationship again. I've had enough of singledom.

You never know what's around the corner...

And lastly....

As always, I've had lots of lovely feedback from you guys. I always say I write this blog for me, but really, it just wouldn't be the same without the comments and emails from you. It's gratifying to know people are reading my nerdy little ramblings (and more so that they keep coming back to read more). You have consistently been a source of glee. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Wishing you a gleeful festive season and good health and happiness in 2011.

* I'm visiting my mum for Christmas from 24 December until 2 January so posting will be sporadic at best.


a work in progress said...

knowing how much you love lists, your blog reminds me of something my ex-sister-in-law and i did one year...As we were looking bcak over the year we decided to list 10 goals for the year to come. We wrote them down, put them in envelopes and each gave theirs to the other. We made a pact to meet up a year later to open them and see how many we had achieved (neither of us kept a copy of our own). A year later when we opened them, to our surprise, we had both managed to achieve almost everything on our respective lists - both big things and small. it was a great end to the year and an inspiration for the next. :)

maybe i should find someone to do that with this year ;)

wishing you a safe and peaceful festive season, and much love, joy and adventure in 2011 xoxox

Frisky Librarian said...

What a good idea. You should do it again! I'm already pretty well set when it comes to goals and lists. I have my 101/40 list which is a mix of big and small goals, and also some other things besides that.

I've chosen a 'theme' for next year to help focus my energies (I read about this on The Happiness Project). My word is "Connect".

Dina said...

Beautiful post.

You've been through a VERY rough year...a sad year. But you still are able to see some good in it. That's admirable.

I love that you love NY so much. It was my favorite place before Australia came into the picture. We haven't been back for four years, but we're going to try and go this Spring.

Deidre said...

I am so happy for you. You're blog is a source of glee. and even though this year has been unfathomably difficult for you - you managed to see the Glee in it all. And that is just awesome!